Get Your “Me” Out of the Way

“Make me know your ways, Lord; Teach me your paths.” Psalms 25:4 NASB2020

“Teach me to do Your will, For you are my God; Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” Psalms 143:10 NASB2020

These are wonderful verses that one could say as a prayer and mean it earnestly. However, we too often allow our “me” to affect our progress in learning God’s will. Many have heard that still, small voice urge them in one direction only to have the person dismiss it and go their own way. Either we allow fear to stop us or we think we know what’s best. Naturally, we tend to be fixers and approach a situation certain of what needs to happen. Our arrogance can often do more to hinder the process than to help.

When you feel the urging of the Holy Spirit, but do not obey, you are denying God’s hand from moving. Since we are to act as His hands and feet, we are throwing a wrench into His plan when we deny Him. Sure, God can and does call somebody else, but you have been called for a purpose, and possibly for a certain timing.

June of 2020 my sister-in-law received a dreaded diagnosis. Her breast cancer had metastasized to brain cancer, and they were to implant a shunt to drain off the pressure in her head. The morning of the procedure she was given 3 months to live. Sunday following the surgery, my husband got a call from his mother that it didn’t look like we would have even 3 more days. The next day, I was at work getting things in order for me to be gone when I heard the Spirit speak to me. “I’m sending you to hold my daughter’s hand as she enters the kingdom.” I was stunned by this.

“Surely not Lord,” I replied internally, “Surely You mean for me to go down there, pray over her, and You’ll bring Your divine healing so You’ll be praised.” So I set about studying the book of Acts; how the apostles did healing in Jesus’ name, and preparing my spirit for God to work His miracle. Even the next day, as we made the eight hour drive to them, I was fasting for the outcome to be favorable.

When we arrived and came to her bedside, the reality of the situation hit me like the weight of the world. Although her eyes were open, her responses were not there and her body had already taken on the appearance of wax. It was clear that what God wanted for her was better than the pain and fighting for life that she had endured over the last few years. I resigned myself to His will and not my own. As we watched her oxygen levels drop lower and lower, we prayed over her, read her favorite Bible verses and sang hymns. We had been there about four hours when I heard the Spirit speak to me, “Go to her.” I went to her side, took her hand, and came close to her ear.

“Joann, it’s Dellaca,” pushing past the lump forming in my throat I said, “It’s time.” Composing myself once more I continued, “I want you to start taking deep breathes. With every breath you breathe in, I want you to breathe in the light and peace of Heaven. With every breath you breathe out, breathe out death and this world until the light is all that fills you and you’re in His arms.” Over the next half hour her breaths got deeper and deeper, and further and further apart, until her body gave up its spirit.

Although that was one of the most emotional things I’ve ever had to do, I was so blessed by the experience. I believed I knew how God would be better served; wanting God’s miracle to be divine healing of my sister-in-law. However, His miracle was to move me into a position to pour out His love for her to have a smooth transition into Heaven. Once I got my “me” out of the way then God was really able to move. Fourteen months later, I am still deeply impacted by this as I write. When I think about the timing that unfolded that day, to imagine had I not surrendered to His will and guided my sister to peace, it breaks my heart for all the times we fail to listen.

Even Jesus, being half man, had His “me” creep in before His great calling was fulfilled. “And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.'” Matthew 26:39 (NASB2020) You see Him quickly correct Himself, and that is the habit we should strive for as well. God’s most prevalent resource, for working in the world, is people. When you say, “Here I am, Lord, send me,” you have to take your “me” out of the equation. Seeking to follow God’s will means it is no longer about you. However, you will be blessed by the experiences He has before you.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 NASB2020