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The Sound Barrier

April is both child abuse prevention month and sexual assault awareness month. Unfortunately there are times when these two overlap. The National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse has done studies showing 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are molested before they are 18. However, since their numbers are only those cases reported—and they speculate that somewhere between two-thirds to 90% of victims never speak out—those statistics could be much higher. This has led to a break the silence campaign for survivors of child abuse, but I want to address what I’m calling “the sound barrier.”

You see, as a survivor of child abuse myself, I know how incredibly hard it can be to get those words out. My memories of being molested go so far back that I cannot remember a time before them. Even in kindergarten, I had the feeling I could not make friends easily because I was broken. My abuse made me feel as though I was less deserving of care, and less likely to let people in to see who I was. I walked through life often disconnected from others. I’ve heard it said that one’s experiences from birth to 10 years old forms a person’s internal legal system. When the vast majority of that person’s memories are negative that becomes a difficult pattern to break, yet many are able to do just that. Survivors become skilled at disconnecting from their experiences and emotions to the point that they grow past them and it seems like it was a different person. The level of complex mental safeguards that enable someone who grew up in the worst of circumstances to live as a thriving adult are next to miraculous. This leads me back to the idea of a sound barrier. To have someone get to the point where they are ready to break the silence means they will need to affect the order of those safeguards. However, there is no singular reaction for someone facing this task. Everyone’s journey is different.

“Use all your skill to put me together; I wait to see your finished product.” Psalms 25:21 The Message

My husband was vaguely aware that I had an abusive childhood. However, we were married for 22 years before I was able to tell him that I had been sexually molested often as a child. With that I began the process of unpacking those hurts. Sometimes it was with neutrality, other times with apprehension, and still other times a memory would hit without warning and panic would grip me. Once those guards come down it is difficult to control your reactions. It is a journey of healing through pain; being reforged in the fire. It is not an easy process, and that is why many choose not to disturb the safeguards that have held them together for so long. The words of confession come up against the sound barrier holding everything in place and do not penetrate it.

What also held my tongue for so long was my need to protect, and not just myself. Oftentimes a person’s abuser is someone close to them. My first abuser was my oldest brother. He was my most prevalent sibling and my mother’s favorite. He’d sneak into my room at night and violate me while everyone slept. Yet even after he passed away I felt speaking out would tarnish the memory of him. My other abuser was my mother in many forms and felt more sinister to child me. I remember as a little girl wanting to do anything to make her happy, but eventually I learned I would never be enough. That was confirmed by her own words when my brother passed and she told me she loved him more than she could ever love me. I don’t know where the devotion to protect the abuser comes from, but once I broke the sound barrier for myself that burden was graciously lifted. I do not wish them ill, but it is not on me to sacrifice my mental health to keep them safe from their own actions.

With statistics as astronomical as the ones presented by the NAASCA’s research, the truth is that there are people in the church congregation that struggle with this secret shame. It’s been projected that every third person sitting in a sanctuary is a survivor of childhood abuse. If you think about the fact that they know their abuser then the perpetuator may likely be sitting there as well. My mother was also a survivor of childhood abuse. Some continue the cycle while others break it. I was blessed to have a Good Shephard who saved His lost sheep. I had more love from my Heavenly Father than my earthly parents were able to afford me. He strengthened me to be able to turn the tide of my life towards a brighter future. Now He calls me to the purpose He raised me to fulfill. I am one who can give a voice to those whose words still get caught by the sound barrier. While my survivor instincts tell me to not be vulnerable, I pour out my words and my heart for those who are not ready for their safeguards to come down. I will encourage and lift up anyone who still feels bound to the memories of a broken past, and God willing guide them to the light of healing

“Those who have insight will shine like the bright expanse of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.” Daniel 12:3 CSB

Now What?

We are currently walking through the 12 Days of Christmas; that is, December 25th to January 6th. Christmas is, of course, the day we remember the Christ child being born. January 6th is the Day of Epiphany where we reflect on the magi from the East acknowledging the divine appointment of Jesus as Lord.

My mind so often goes to Mary during this time. The shock of the herald saying she was blessed to be chosen by the LORD. The recognition of Elizabeth’s expectant child eager to proclaim the Son of God. The less than favorable conditions surrounding the birth of Jesus, and then shepherds wondering into the “delivery room.” The recognition of the faithful at the temple when Mary and Joseph bring the customary offering.

How many times did an event confirm the messiah only to have that pass and Mary wondering, ok, now what? Nighttime feedings, changing soiled diapers, getting fresh linens, and the many other things that just make up a life. After however much time it took, the magi from the East arrive to proclaim the child’s divine power and practically anoint Jesus as God’s chosen ruler. Another moment of confirmation followed by a sojourn to Egypt for the child’s safety. Ok, now what? Yet again it becomes day after day of keeping everyone fed and sheltered with Joseph probably taking the occasional odd job to provide.

Their return to Nazareth is followed with more of the same. Family, with more expectations to juggle, added to the mix of everything else. A trip to Jerusalem where preteen Jesus finds his connection to his Father’s house, the temple. This quite possibly the first outright public acknowledgment by Jesus himself of his divine appointment. Mary, already fearful from having misplaced him, was like thinking now what? Jesus stays with his earthly parents in submission to their place over him, and for eighteen years he abides there. A parade of days for learning, for play, and walking through the monotony of life stretch on. Somewhere in those undocumented years, Mary mourns the passing of her husband Joseph. Losing her partner in life likely would cause her to look at all the uncertainty around her and cry, “Now what?”

Eventually, her firstborn steps into his calling and for three years the expectation that he will deliver the people from their oppression grows. Then she watches as he is nailed to a cross. Now what? When young Mary dutifully submitted to the LORD’s will, it did not come with a step-by-step guide on how she was to proceed. How many times did she wonder if she was doing it right, that there must be more that she should do? However, all that she could do was to keep going, and all went according to God’s plan.

Sometimes we too come to the point where we perceive the signs, feel the prompting, and have that “Yes Lord” moment. Then we look around, expecting things to be different, only to wonder now what? Frustration and confusion take the place where conviction once stood and we question our place in God’s plan.

The path before you will likely contain some milestone moments, but for much of it the view may look like a scenery loop from old shows; no discernable difference. This reminds me of Eugene Peterson’s words to describe the faithful persistence of a lifelong commitment as “a long walk in the same direction.” We trust God with our destination even when most of the time the miles seem uneventful.

A new years dawns. The year may contain milestone moments or more of a consistent parade of the usual activity. What ever it holds, trust God with your “Now what,” and lean into His promises. In doing so may you have a blessed and happy new year.

Don’t Get Robbed

Theodore Roosevelt is credited with saying “comparison is the thief of joy.” I will go further in saying comparison can make having a spirit of thanksgiving impossible. It is hard to be thankful for you children when you think I wish my kids were as successful as so-and-so’s kids. It’s hard to be thankful for your spouse when you compare your relationship to someone else’s. And it’s hard to be thankful for your home and other blessings when you think that other person has so much more than me.

In our “Pinterest perfect,” social media influenced lives, this call to not compare your life to others can feel like a daunting task. Dare I say, this is exactly the mindset in which the accuser wants you trapped. Using comparison to question the differences in life can lead one into feelings of inadequacy, dissatisfaction, and even resentment. Why don’t I have what they have? Why can’t my family be as successful as theirs? Does God care for them more than me?

These feelings are contrary to having a spirit of thanksgiving, and can be a stumbling block for your faith. The disillusionment that comes from a comparison mindset can cause one to doubt the goodness of God. This leads down a slippery slope as you start to not trust God’s provision in your life so you pull back to hold on to what you have. When you pull back from God in this way He cannot give you more because you have shown that you are not a good steward. (See The Parable of the Talents, Matthew 25: 14-30) Do not allow the comparison mindset to spoil your faith. Be content with what you have and trust that God wants good for you and your family. Then your well of thanksgiving can overflow and your joy can be complete.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written,

“He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor; his righteousness endures forever.”

He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God. For the ministry of this service in not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God. 2 Corinthians 9: 8-12

If you are going to compare your current situation to anything let it be the old you. Out of the darkness of the past there is light. Out of old sins, that brought hurt and shame, comes a new life and love. Praise Jesus that we have so much more ahead of us than what is behind. Let that fuel our spirit of thanksgiving and not let negative comparisons rob us of celebrating what God has done.

The Year of Jubilee

I am glad I get to spend time diving into scripture each week. I facilitate a group study that seeks to go deeper into context, and understand more fully the word of God we call the Bible. We have been in Leviticus with the prior week being chapters 23 and 24 (the festival calendar), and then this week we studied chapter 25 (Sabbath years and Jubilee).

“‘You are also to count off seven Sabbaths of years for yourself, seven times seven years, so that you have the time of the seven Sabbaths of years, that is, forty-nine years. You shall then sound a ram’s horn abroad on the tenth day of the seventh month; on the Day of Atonement you shall sound a horn all through your land. ‘So you shall consecrate the fiftieth year and proclaim a release throughout the land to all its inhabitants. It shall be a jubilee for you, and each of you shall return to his own property, and each of you shall return to his family.’” NASB Leviticus 25:8-10.

With so much of Levitical Law being seen by some as unnecessary under the New Testament, the Holy Spirit has been leading me to not think light of this matter. So deeper into this issue I went. While this rotation of Sabbath years and Jubilee are no longer practiced in Israel, I thought it would behoove me to see when the next one would be if it were. BacktoJerusalem.com revealed that this year, 2025, is to be that year of Jubilee. If we look to the Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur, as the time to herald its beginning, that is October 1st.

I have had so many faithful brothers and sisters who have told me they feel a stirring and know a shift is coming. The past couple of weeks that feeling has ignited in thousands, if not millions, of people. Now we enter into God’s year of Jubilee. I say “God’s year of Jubilee” because while mankind may not have been marking the calendar as such, the precepts God set forth on Mount Sinai have not been lost to Him. What if this is the reason His kingdom has been feeling the swell of spiritual awakening?

In The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures by F. Duane Lindsey he writes “The motto for the year was to proclaim liberty (i.e., release) throughout the land with the primary purpose of getting family property and the family back together again.” These very concepts have been the rising call from the awakening in God’s people; freedom, family, and faith. This was engrained in the people of Israel from their founding and in the United States as well. The inscription “Proclaim LIBERTY throughout all the Land unto all the Inhabitants thereof,” from Leviticus 25:10 is on this country’s Liberty Bell from Philadelphia Hall.

What if we honored God’s word, and what He is obviously doing in our generation, and spoke boldly on what we know to be true? We might just change the world, or at least change our lives to be more aligned with the Kingdom of God. Don’t you want to be that bold? Like Jesus when he walked into the synagogue of his own hometown and read from the scroll of Isaiah in Luke 4:18-19 ““The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the LORD’s favor has come.””(NLT) Then he mic dropped that moment by telling the crowd that he was the fulfillment of this scripture. They were stunned and their world was shaken.

Since we are to be Christ-like in our own lives, would it not be upon us to be so bold in this year of Jubilee? Let us say as we are told in 2 Corinthians 5:20 “We speak for Christ when we plead, ‘Come back to God.’” The precepts for this year of Jubilee are clear:

1) Proclaim freedom throughout the land. For years we have been buying into the lie that we keep our faith private. We are not to be made mute by a false sentiment of “let’s not offend with our words.” We have Freedom to speak. We have Freedom to practice our religion, not just at home but in the public arena.

2) Reconcile God’s kingdom as He has established. This was God saying “I am giving you this land and as such you will return it under my order.” Even today the land on which we stand belongs to God first. Let us acknowledge that and be the stewards He intends.

3) Return to the family of God. No longer slaves to the world. We are sons and daughters of God. We need to return to the posture of praise and worship for all He has done, and will do, as promised.

So let’s blow the trumpet on this Day of Atonement, (metaphorically; we don’t all have trumpets) and proclaim the year of God’s favor. I will focus my eyes on this as I step into God’s New Year. I hope you will choose to do the same.

You Have No Power Here

If you’ve followed much of my writing you may have noticed that I sometimes use movie references for understanding. It isn’t something I plan for, but on occasion a film quote will come to mind as I’m meditating on what the LORD is working out in me. Initially it was a line from Labyrinth, a Jim Henson movie from the 80’s that I watched as a kid. The main girl practices lines from a story that later becomes her taking control over the goblin king. “You have no power over me,” she delivers with resolve.

As this month rolled on my mind also went to a scene from Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Theoden, king of Rohan, has been lost in darkness of the mind as a sinister power seeks to control him. Gandalf comes in to cast out the dark power and bring the king back into the light. The evil wizard Saruman mocks Gandalf through Theodan saying, “You have no power here.” In truth, Gandalf’s journey has brought him into a new understanding of what he is capable of and so he does not relent. Saruman continues to speak lies in an effort to shake Gandalf, but the darkness can not stand against the light.

You’re probably thinking, good illustrations, but what led you to focus on these scenes? Well, for a little over a year now I’ve experienced an interesting occurrence when I pray. As I’d feel the Holy Spirit move certain syllables would come on my breath, but I didn’t know what they were. While I had heard of speaking in tongues, I tend to lean more cerebral in analysis and was not ready to wade into those waters. There was also the negative talk in my head eager to shut this down. Oh you think you’re so special that this would mean anything. This is nothing. You have no real power here. Don’t bring this up or people will think you’re weird. So I kept quiet even while the experiences continued.

Then while in another posture in the Spirit other syllables came. It was time for my logical mind to do some investigating. I used my smart phone to bring up a translation tool. I spoke the syllables into the microphone to see what would happen. To my surprise it said the detected language was Arabic although the app couldn’t quite pin down the meaning. I remember thinking Ok, there might be something here. However, a verse came to mind in that moment, “But if no one is present who can interpret, they [person speaking in tongues] must be silent in your church meeting.” (1 Corinthians 14:28) There again I pushed it aside to not shine a light on the moment.

Earlier this month I was at a conference where I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Scot McKnight speak. In my NIV Study Bible, he is acknowledged as translating Galatians and 1 Peter, and he’s credited for translating Luke. In his lecture at the conference he was attempting to get us to memorize the original Greek for the many works of Jesus when these phrases I’d utter in prayer came to mind. When he had finished speaking, I approached Dr. McKnight and said, “Since you are used to speaking in syllables maybe you can help me with something.” I explained to him the occurrences and wondered if he’d be willing to translate if indeed they mean anything to him. Dr. McKnight smiled and agreed. I told him the first one comes in moments when I’m just inviting the Holy Spirit to speak into my prayer time to reveal God’s inspiration. I breathed out (spelling phonetically) “Eh-shoe-uh Aloe-he,” and Dr. McKnight’s eyes grew wide with surprise. He said, “That’s Jesus is Lord.” For the first time I allowed myself to accept I wasn’t being foolish. I went on to explain that the next one comes when I’m praying for God’s power to move, especially in asking for healing. I breathed out, “Ha-said.” Again he reacted in recognition, “That’s God’s mercy.” It was then explained to me that is the word God himself used when He identified who He was to Moses in the burning bush.

Thinking about this experience, and the way the negative internal thoughts tried to hinder me, is why the scene from Lord of the Rings came to mind. The evil forces want us to believe that we are powerless in spiritual battles. There is a false narrative that God doesn’t move as He once did, but the truth is that He still works through us in amazing ways. The Holy Spirit was speaking the names of God into my prayers, pouring out His power, and the darkness sought to shut that down. This is a reminder that our thoughts are not always for our benefit so we need to be on guard. When negative narratives try to limit who you are in the kingdom of God feel free, in Jesus name, to stare the evil down and say, “You have no power over me.”

Making the Way

Then the crowds who went ahead of him and those who followed shouted: Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest heaven! Matthew 21:9 CSB

Holy week begins and we look once more to the fulfillment of Messianic prophecy. The establishment of an atonement sacrifice was something set down in the time of Moses and something the nation of Israel would come to know for generations. Jesus was sent by God to show the people how to live and defeat death so that all who choose to walk in God’s way will be heaven bound. Would it be surprising to learn that he actually had experience in this?

We are going back all the way to Exodus 23: 20 & 21 to see where this experience can be found. “I am going to send an angel before you to protect you on the way and bring you to the place I have prepared. Be attentive to him and listen to him. Do not defy him, because he will not forgive your acts of rebellion, for my name is in him.” Most scholars believe that because this angel of God is presented as an extension of the LORD himself that this is the preincarnate Jesus. How do we see that paralleled? First, look at what the crowd said in Matthew (which I referenced in the opening) during the triumphant entry to Jerusalem: “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord,” and then Exodus 23:21 “for my name is in him.” Let’s look also at the transfiguration in Mark 9:7, “This is my beloved Son; listen to him,” and back to Exodus 23:21, “Be attentive to him and listen to him.” Now look at the warning given in Exodus 23:21, “he will not forgive your acts of rebellion,” notice it says he will not forgive meaning he is in a place to offer forgiveness. What did Jesus say was the unforgiveable act? “Therefore, I tell you, people will be forgiven every sin and blasphemy, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.” (Matthew 12:31) Speaking “against the Holy Spirit” (vs 32) is rebellion against God and the point of no return for Jesus to show forgiveness.

You might be wondering why I’m laying out the evidence to tie these two personifications together. With nearly 1,000 years between these events, I want us to see the unfailing character of Jesus. As the angel of God, a preincarnate Jesus goes ahead of the Israelites to ensure they know the way they should go and to guide them in establishing a kingdom of priests as spoken of in Exodus 19:6. He would strike down the enemies of God’s people and make sure they are settled in the promised land. Come in human form as God incarnate, Jesus ensured we know the way we are to go and to establish a kingdom of priests as spoken of in 1 Peter 2:4-5. He strikes down the evil forces who war against God and defeated death itself. By his sacrifice, Jesus made sure we are able to enter into the promised land of God: heaven.

In the Old Testament, the embodiment of God passed between the divided animals in Genesis 15:17 to show that He would fulfill the promise to Abraham. From that experience of seeing God’s plan fulfilled, and knowing He cannot fail, Jesus stepped into his “angel of God” role; this time in flesh. God was sending His own approved atonement sacrifice to take the place of all earthly ones. Instead of passing between a divided animal to be symbolic of him taking of the burden to see the promise fulfilled, Jesus hung between two divided brothers on the cross. Unlike his efforts in the Old Testament to see this through, ensuring God’s people can enter the promised land of the New Testament would be fulfilled in pain and suffering. Knowing how faithful and humbled Jesus was to see God’s plan made complete, I don’t see how any believer can help but shout “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

Heart of Worship

The past month has definitely had one primary focus; worship. I attended two worship retreats in February, listened to podcasts who were discussing the topic, and the Bible study I lead was revolving around the subject as well. In this day and age, when someone thinks of worship they usually think of music sung to move us toward a spiritual experience. Being a member of my church’s “worship team” I feel blessed to be able to intercede in that role. However, this is a small part of what worship is meant to be in the life of a believer.

After Sunday service lets out, I’ve witnessed some say that the song selection just didn’t get them to that holy presence feel that they were looking for. As February had me diving into what a heart posture for worship should be, I realized how transactional we can be with our worship. “If I’m feeling it then I’ll sing along.” “If a message appeals to me then I’ll lean in.” “If I’m blessed in my finances then I’ll give.” “If I’ve exhausted all other avenues to get what I need then I’ll send up a pray.” The if-then proposals could go on and on. I would challenge you to remember that worship is not for us, it is for God. While the byproduct of worship is that we draw closer to Him and get to feel His presence, it is making an offering that brings this nearness.

It is clear that most Christians have come to see worship as the songs we sing on Sunday morning, but it is so much more that that. How do we know? Let’s look all the way back to Exodus. God says to Moses in chapter 4:22-23, “Then you will tell him[pharaoh], ‘This is what the LORD says: Israel is my firstborn son. I commanded you, “Let my son go, so he can worship me.”‘” Fast forward to their time at the Mountain of God. The Israelite’s worship did have some singing, but it also had sacrifice of resources and money, it had using skills to build His kingdom, and it had daily dedications to honor His holiness.

My good ol’ Merriam-Webster says that to worship is to honor or show reverence to a divine being. It goes on to say it is “to regard with great or extravagant respect, honor, or devotion.” If our hearts are turned to God in this posture, then we can worship Him with more than just our songs. The person who fills the communion trays can be performing an act of worship. The person leading a Sunday School classroom can be performing an act of worship. Even the person wiping down handrails or vacuuming the sanctuary can be performing an act of worship.

Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

Romans 12:1

I would take this a step further and say worship goes beyond what you do at the church building. If your attitude is turned towards showing reverence to God, then the things you do at work can be worship. Your caring for your family can be worship. In fact, if serving God is at the core of all you do then your very life is an act of worship.

So the question to ask to get to the heart of worship is: Is your heart for worship? Do you come with a posture of great honor to the One who has made everything, and has given everything, with no reciprocal desire? Does your spirit rise to meet His like the incense before the Most Holy place; a pleasing aroma? Let us not make our worship transactional to Him who has already paid the price for us to be with Him.

Firm Foundation

The year 2025 is rolling on no matter what your level of preparedness has been. If your year looks anything like mine it is already filling with exciting and stressing events. When I get a fresh calendar, I like to hold it up to God and say “This represents the days you’ve laid out ahead of me. Fill it with moments of blessings and the things you have for me in your kingdom plan.” I’m sure I’ve said before that I work best when there’s a plan. A new planner helps with this. Knowledge that things are laid out just brings me peace. Well, God is the ultimate planner! What He sets into motion has no option to deviate and is for our good.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NASB2020)

As believers, we trust that God doesn’t make mistakes. We are often quick to remind others of such when they are struggling with understanding a why or how. I wonder then, why do we question if God has gotten it right when He calls us to a purpose. Moses did it and requested that God send someone else. Jonah questioned God’s instructions and even ran from his calling. The disciplines questioned much of what Jesus did in his earthly ministry, yet all went according to plan. I know I’ve questioned some things God has placed on my own heart. It’s one thing to run it through a filter of discernment, but it is another to say “LORD, I don’t think you understand what you’re asking of me.” HE designed the universe and everything in it. HE set our place in space and time according to His will. HE has decreed His standards and has set the time for all things to be brought to bear. So why do we still question?

This inspiration came when I received a word from a woman of God who felt led in the Holy Spirit to speak it over me. I am not one who says “I need a word for the new year,” but I’m open to any word that the Spirit breathes into me. What was this revelation? This lovely woman said she was really being led to tell me the LORD is giving the word “establish” to me. She encouraged me to reflect on this word, and while I had a conviction right away, I thought “No, that’s too big.” However I sought to unpack this a little more. Being a “word nerd,” I went to my trusty Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary to get to basics. While it has variations in its definitions, what jumped out to me about the word “establish” was “to make firm or stable”, “to put on a firm basis – set up.” This—along with the dear sister-in-Christ that brought me this, word saying that she sees God building something through me—was again leading me back to the thing I had deemed “too big”.

“Alright,” I thought, “time to take it to scripture.” Searching the concordance for verses containing the word “establish”, there was one that took root. “He shall build for me a house, and I will establish his throne forever.” 1 Chronicles 17:12 (NASB2020) I had to sit back and let God take up the space between me and all I was reading. It was a moment of recognition. The LORD had given me this vision decades ago. It was a pipedream then, and remains a monumental task now. Yet just like those in the Bible when faced with God’s will, it’s time to submit. There is nothing that is “too big” for God. I am not foolish enough to turn down God, nor would I want to. “Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:24 (NASB2020) When God says this thing that He stirred in you in your youth, which He has made your heart’s desire, has now found its maturity and is ready to be established, that should be met with rejoicing not intrepidation. So I say “Yes LORD!” I don’t know how, but I know it is in His hand.

So how about you? Is this a year for something long awaited to be birthed? Maybe you’ve been questioning whether you are the right person for the job. Maybe like me, you’ve thought your call is too big to even be a reality. Maybe you are just at the beginning of a journey and don’t even know what will come to light. Wherever you may be, give it to God, like the days in my planner, and trust that He’s got this.

Yet I will remember the covenant I made with you when you were young, and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you. Ezekiel 16:60 NLT

A Moment’s Eve

Inspiration came on Christmas Eve as we came together with our church family for the candlelight service. Our pastor spoke of this teenage girl giving birth to the Messiah of the world. So young and full of zeal for her faith, she submitted so that the will of the Everlasting God could find fulfillment within her womb. She spent her first trimester with her cousin Elizabeth (likely assisting in that prophesied child’s birth), and returned to Nazareth when the baby bump that was Jesus was just starting to show. The speculation and side-glances would have persisted no matter how often they were to insist this child was of the Holy Spirit. Then to be miles away from home, quite possibly sore from traveling 90 miles to Bethlehem in her condition, Mary was now bearing down to deliver the Son of God in a stable. As the smell of hay and animal habitat filled her nostrils, could she be wondering if she was doing all this wrong? Maybe the imposter syndrome many have with such big callings made her wonder if God was regretting His choice? There is much that happens on the eve of a moment.

In the dim light of the Christmas Eve service, I remembered my own teenage pregnancy. Although definitely not divine it led me to empathize with Mary. There had been those who speculated whether I and my boyfriend (now husband at my side in the delivery room) were making all the wrong choices as two 17 year-olds starting a family. I can still recall a brief moment as I began pushing where all these scenes of my child growing up flashed through my mind. Scraped knees after falling off a bike, playing with toys that littered the floor, learning to drive, and many more images of a lifetime of raising this child rushed like a cacophony of pictures. Too much to process in one heartbeat and the weight of it made me say out loud, “I can’t do this!” My young husband thought I was talking about the delivery and encouraged me, but it was this mega-download of everything to come that overwhelmed me in that instance. Years later, I had another woman confirm she had a similar experience with her first delivery and it led me to wonder if this is something innate in some women. This Christmas Eve, as I pondered Mary in that stable, I wondered if she could’ve had this rush of images. A young Jesus learning to hammer at Joseph’s side, running around the dusty streets of Nazareth with other kids, or could she even have had a flash of the crucifixion come in that moment before Jesus drew his first breath; choking back her own wondering if she could really see all this through?

Then my thoughts went to Jesus and the eve of his moments. That night of anticipation in the garden before Calvary as events were unfolding already. Could there have been something similar on the eve of the pre-incarnate Jesus being poured into one of these clay jars we call the human form? The image of God—who had lunch with Abraham before wiping out Sodom & Gomorrah, who got in a wrestling match with Jacob, who strolled with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the furnace, and knew no distinction in the triune of God before now—was about to be set apart to bring all back to the Father. He would already know what was to unfold, so could the flashes of faces of people and the moments that make up a life rush as He descended? The idea of it all is as glorious as it is humbling.

Maybe you find yourself on the eve of a moment or mission, overwhelmed with the enormity of a call that lies before you. In those times it is best to remember that this current moment is all that is being asked of you for now. The other moments that lie ahead will have their turn, but you need only be here for this one. As time stretches on, you’ll see what once seemed like a cacophony of images that loomed large before now form the picture of a beautiful life when placed in their order. May each moment serve to bring you ever closer to God.

The Heart of the Matter

In November we set aside time to be thankful. This requires reflection. Personally I’m not a fan of self-analysis to discover my feelings. In counseling, I understand the importance of doing so for therapeutic purposes. Yet I tend to be driven more by logic and just want my emotions to stay in their box where they belong. This doesn’t mean I am an unfeeling person, actually I feel things deeply. I don’t like my emotions to drive my motivations, therefore I keep a tight reign on them. However, as I turn toward a posture of thankfulness, it is my heart and motivations that most need addressed.

Years ago, in my homeschooling era, we dove into the history of the first Thanksgiving and the practices. I found it interesting that the pilgrims did not use the feast in their tradition of giving thanks to the LORD. They actually fasted as they reflected on the provision of God. When their native neighbors brought food to share, the pilgrims broke their fasting to join in community. After learning this we adopted a Thanksgiving Fast on the Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of that particular week. Three days to reflect on God’s provision and then come together with thankful hearts. As I stated before, as I prepare for this ritual, it is the heart that I’m seeing matters most.

“Yet even now,” declares the LORD.

“Return to Me with all your heart,

And with fasting, weeping, and mourning;

And tear your heart and not merely your garments.”

Now return to the LORD your God,

For He is gracious and compassionate,

Slow to anger, abounding in mercy,

And relenting of catastrophe.

Joel 2: 12-13 NASB

Often times we see fasting as next level asking for what we want. I’m reminded of the scene from Disney’s “Princess and the Frog” where Lottie’s character figures she isn’t wishing on the star hard enough. Fasting becomes, to some people, that “please, please, please, please, please” with ever increasing urgency. Let me first say that if you are making a petition to God that is not in keeping with His will, you can plead until the day of judgement and it will not come to pass. I am not trying to discourage anyone from using fasting in their seeking petition, but fasting should do less to serve you and more to serve the Lord.

‘Why have we fasted and You do not see?

Why have we humbled ourselves and You do not notice?’

Behold, on the day of your fast you find your desire,

And oppress all your workers.

“Behold, you fast for contention and strife, and to strike with a wicked fist.

You do not fast like you have done today to make your voice heard on high!

“Is it a fast like this that I choose, a day for a person to humble himself?

Is it for bowing one’s head like a reed

And for spreading out sackcloth and ashes as a bed?

Will you call this a fast, even an acceptable day to the LORD?

“Is this not the fast that I choose:

To release the bonds of wickedness,

To undo the ropes of the yoke,

And to let the oppressed go free,

And break every yoke?

Isaiah 58: 3-6

In both these passages the people were approaching fasting with the wrong kind of heart. Their posture was focusing on what they wanted and not about supplicating for God’s will. The times I’ve experienced the greatest blessings from fasting have been when I hold to the fact that it isn’t about me. My fasting reminds me that while I’m in this physical form there are desires that bind me to thoughts of self. Yet we are spiritual beings as well and as such there is a kingdom that requires our participation.

Fasting can focus our souls to say, “It isn’t about this physical realm, LORD. Whether this plane or the spiritual one, You are in control. Align my spirit with yours that I might see more clearly, understand more fully, and trust more deeply Your will unfolds on Earth as in Heaven.” I think of how in our marriage where every day we do the usual routine to go through life, but when we go away on a trip together the focus is on our relationship. You find joy as you experience new moments to strengthen your connection. Fasting can be a way of returning to “your first love,” (i.e. Rev. 2:4) when you confess that your flesh leads you away from God and towards desires, but your spirit longs to draw close to Him.

What we see from this practice of the pilgrims is that while we have come to celebrate our abundance, we forget that we can still be lacking. Lacking what? A posture of true thanksgiving that transcends our need for indulgence; that we are not complete without God. Remember Him as the source of all your provisions, not just your food, and share that all-encompassing thankfulness to the community with which you break bread.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit, do not utterly reject prophecies, but examine everything; hold firmly to that which is good, abstain from every form of evil. Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may you spirit and soul and body be kept complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-24

How to Inspire When Uninspired

I endeavor to create an article for my blog, “Author Inspirations,” at least once a month. In October, I would ask myself “What inspiration do I have right now?” A thought or two might flitter across my consciousness, but nothing I could latch on to. That ball effectively dropped as the month expired, I’m left wondering how do you inspire others when you yourself are not feeling inspired?

As I mulled this over the answer that came was just show up. A person can rarely know what an encouragement their presence alone can be. Let’s be honest, Job’s friends were far better at comforting him, as he worked through his grief, when they were silent than when they spoke up. Just being a constant in someone’s life can be the light they are looking for. Knowing they are not alone can give someone the strength they need to carry on in their journey. Look at Jesus in Matthew 26:36, Then Jesus went with them[disciples] to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and he said, “Sit here while I go over there to pray.” The disciples didn’t know the gravity of the moment or what they could do or say to comfort Jesus, but all he asked of them was to be there.

It’s hard when you feel like you have nothing to offer to make yourself show up. That very thought causes many to stay where they are and not contribute. While it is true that it is hard to fill others when your cup is empty, sometimes an honest “Hey, I come with nothing, but if that’s what you need them I’m here,” can make a difference. Truly, at times God is able to do far more with that kind of person than someone who believes they have all the answers. It becomes less of “this is what I can do” and more “God is able to do work through me”; a Matthew 10:19 (God will give you the right words at the right time.) or Psalms 141:3 (Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips.) moment.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, Ephesians 3:20

Let us see clearly that inspiration takes many forms. Not all ministry comes from the pulpit. Not all leadership is at the top of an organization. Where are you being called to show up? At church? At work? In your family? Do you feel a lack of inspiration keeping you stalled in a holding pattern that is doing no one any good? Maybe it is time to just step up with nothing to offer but yourself, and trust that you are enough. Be present for others. You don’t have to have all the answers; lean into the One who does.

Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for GOD’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Proverbs 3:5-7 (The Message)