Confident

When you hear a sermon delivered in a timely manner (i.e. when you have asked for something to be revealed), it can be seen as a message. When you hear that message three times by three different speaker in 3 different location in the course of 72 hours, it feels more like a wakeup call. Something like that requires a paradigm shift.

I was blessed to be able to attend a ladies conference in Springfield, Missouri last weekend; the theme was Heaven on Earth. At one point, the speakers felt discernment to say that there are those who are being led into ministry, but are holding back for whatever reason. About 36 hours later, I was in my home church where our pastor spoke about being bold and stepping out as an ambassador of the kingdom to find “the one” in whom you were meant to plant a seed. Less than 36 hours after that, I was listening to a brand new podcast whose message also pertained to how we are called to do that which brings Heaven to Earth.

I praise the Lord for hammering this home for me because He knows I need this to set like concrete in my foundation. As much as I encourage others to step out in faith, I need the reminder as well. It isn’t being hypocritical. It is recognizing that this is something I must continue to work on in my “splintered eye”, so that I may help others work through it as well; just as we are called to in Matthew 7:5. Bianca Olthoff spoke at the conference and said, “He [God] is calling you into what He is calling you out of.” The people best equipped to help others through a certain “minefield” are those who have traversed it themselves. This is not to say those without similar experiences can’t be helpful, but that those who have lived them, and grew through it, have developed other tools for dealing with that issue. Just as AA sponsors are themselves recovering alcoholics and are therefore familiar with the struggles newer members will face. So I will encourage others to step out in faith daily, as I work for myself how to step out in faith daily. I will encourage others who struggle with the shame of abuse that tries to tell them they are not worthy, as I work out the same within myself. Is it intimidating? You bet it is! Do I sometimes think there is someone else who will do it better, and therefore I am not needed? That thought sneaks in at times. Are there times I just want to curl up in my bubble and leave the world to its own? That would be so easy. Brandi Carrano spoke these words at the conference, and I had to write them down as they cut me to the quick. “Our comfort will always be the enemy of our obedience.” Ouch and Amen! Ok, so no curling up in my bubble. My pastor’s sermon series is devoted to the premise of Matthew 9:37. “Then he said to this disciples, ‘The harvest is abundant, but the workers are few.'”[CSB] Ok, so I am really needed.

I had been stirred Sunday by the thought that the enemy is stoking the furnace of trials and suffering in this world hotter and hotter like Nebuchadnezzar did to destroy Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego [Daniel 3]. Then my mind went to how on the day of Pentecost in Acts 2:3, the Holy Spirit came upon the believers as “tongues like flames of fire.” Therefore, let us fight fire with fire. When the welling up of the Holy Spirit starts to burn, let us not use a damper to hinder it from doing its work through us. This inspiration was further confirmed for me the next day as I listened to Lisa Harper’s podcast which broke down the indwelling of Jesus predating his birth and the fourth man in the furnace. Ok, let me not be intimidated.

I have a friend, who is also a Christian therapist, who gave me a worksheet labeled “Who I am in Christ.” It has a series of Bible verses and an assignment. You read through the verses and take note of anything that tugs at your spirit. Then, you work out those notes to string together a kind of mantra to say when you feel unsettled. Mine became: “I am a daughter, born of God, and confident in His presence. Created for a purpose and chosen to bear much fruit.” When those negative questions rise, this is what I say to quiet them.

There was another moment, during the conference, that was deeply impactful. The next day, after they had the discerning word for leaders to step out, they asked for us to take just two minutes to be silent and allow God to speak to us. I prayed and opened my mind, heart, and spirit to whatever God wanted me to know, if anything. I heard three whispers from the Holy Spirit: I love you. Just be who you are. I’ve got this.

They were so warm and encouraging, and I held them to my heart like treasures. A few days later I was meditating on them again, when I realized something profound. I had been focusing on feeling the freedom of the confidence I have in Him with “I’ve got this.” But y’all! Then I realized the second whisper, “Just be who you are,” meant that HE has confidence in me. Mind…blown! Also, these whispers are not solely meant for me. They are for you too!

“Therefore, we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:6

The Kiddie Pool

It’s the last day of Summer and I’ve been reflecting on our season. For many people it has been one HOT summer. Due to utility workers digging up our back yard, we were not able to set up our metal-frame pool to have relief from the heat. In desperation, I thought it might be beneficial to get a kiddie pool to a least be able to get my feet wet and find a little bit of enjoyment. I decided it wouldn’t be worth it and instead we would go to the creek or to our friend’s house who has a pool. There is something about being fully immersed that is so much more satisfying than what a kiddie pool can offer.

Although I remember what it was like to be a child in the kiddie pool in my grandparent’s back yard, it no longer suits as an adult. The inspiration I had is how our faith can be like this comparison. When we are young, our walk may be shallow, but it is sufficient as we are still small in our understanding. If we stay in the kiddie pool of faith through adulthood, then we are hindering the development of our Christian walk. It just gets our toes wet, so to speak, and does little to give relief in the heat of life’s hardships.

“When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with prefect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” 1 Corinthians 13: 11 & 12 NLT

If you are puzzling things together in the reflection of a kiddie pool, then your scope is narrow and the water of this small container can get murky. As the messiness of life falls into the pool, it becomes a distraction to the things on which you should be focusing. Were that same sediment to be dispersed into a large, deep pool, it would fall away and allow you to take in the bigger picture. Furthermore, a kiddie pool would have brought little relief from the intensity of this summer’s heat. In fact, it would have warmed the water quickly and made it hardly different than the surrounding air. This is how some can say they are in the faith and barely be discernable from the world around them.

Deep waters can offer relief and would take much more to alter the temperature. I don’t know about you, but I love the feeling of swimming. In deep water you can totally submerge yourself and engage your whole body in the activity. Whether you’re propelling yourself forward, doing rolls and flips in the weightlessness of the water around you, or just allowing it to lift you up as you float, swimming in a large pool or body of water is thrilling. It also brings greater relief from the heat, just as a deep faith can move you and relieve the heat of life. When feeling the heat of life in our relationships, in the stress of trying to live rightly, or in the consequences of sin, going deeper in your faith produces the fruit of the Spirit. We know that learning to swim can be a struggle and, even when you know how, can at times be taxing. One must practice with perseverance to develop endurance to keep yourself in shape. You must discipline yourself for your training even as the strain tells you to give up. This will make you strong, to not only tread water for yourself but to help others. Like a lifeguard on the beach watches to make sure someone is not overcome, your training can benefit a struggling brother or sister in Christ.

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.” Hebrews 12: 11& 12 NIV

To be sure, there are many in the church who stay to their shallow kiddie pools of faith. Some look at the deep end and think “That is just too much for me.” We think of the story of Peter stepping out of the boat to walk to Jesus on the water only to sink into the waves. We think of him lacking the faith to sustain himself and judge him for that. The more heartbreaking part of this story is that there were 11 other men in the boat not willing to even try. So was it safer to stay in the boat, or for one to stay in their kiddie pool? Probably, but that is not where deeper faith is found. Peter was the only one to know what it felt like to walk to Jesus, and though we may see it as a shortcoming to not be persistent, his experience was forever altered. Even though he began to sink like a stone in the waves, Jesus said, “on this rock I will build my church.” (Matthew 16:18)

Don’t settle for the kiddie pool. Don’t stay in the boat. Dive into the deep end of faith and be fully immersed.

A Father’s Love

“And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:18 NLT

God placed this topic on my heart in June, but I have been procrastinating. That could mean it is going to be needed by someone. Yet my experience has had me feeling less than qualified to speak on a father’s love, and it can be painful to think about. Nevertheless, here I am putting it to words for all.

My mother left my father when I was very young and he was met with violence when he attempted to get us back. When my father began dating and eventually married my stepmother, my own mother used us children to manipulate my father in an effort to end the relationship. This caused my stepmother to hold some animosity against the children of my father’s first marriage. The resentment from both women made it difficult for my father to be present in our lives.

I only have a few of my own memories of my father. For a time, when I was 6-years-old, we lived with my dad’s parents. He would come over as often as he could. One of those memories is as simple as my father laying on the living room floor watching television; absently twirling his hair as he did. I would lean against his back, drape my arm over his side, and just be happy to be near him.

Another memory from that time is of the family being in the backyard playing a game like Marco Polo on land, but everyone would be calling out at once and you had to focus on a certain voice. I singled out my father’s voice amongst the noise and followed it; not realizing he was standing on the other side of the kiddy pool. Into the water I went and my father fished me up smiling.

Not long after, I got the best birthday present ever (my little brother was born on my 7th birthday), and my mom came back to take us away again. She would tell us that our father had a new family now and didn’t want or need us anymore. It would be over 10 years before I’d see my father again, all the while having to endure the resentment of my mother if he was mentioned. When Troy and I found ourselves to be expecting and decided to get married, I wrote to my father to let him know. I did it out of duty to keep him informed of such big life changes. I did not expect him to disrupt his home life—saying he was possibly going home to a divorce—to come and be there to give me away at my wedding. I worried that he would be disappointed in me, but he was so happy just to be with me that I didn’t sense any of that. This was not the indifferent father that I was conditioned to expect. This father wanted nothing more than to be there for his daughter and to share as much of her life as he could.

In 2015 I went to surprise my younger brother for his 30th birthday; the first we spent together since he was born. My father made my brother promise to bring me by the base where he worked before I flew home. My dad took me by the arm and lead me from office to office to introduce me. He delighted as he’d say, “This is my daughter. Isn’t she beautiful?!” I couldn’t help but marvel at his love for me.

“And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, ‘Abba, Father.'” Galatians 4:6 NLT

These memories of my biological father have become a reflection of my Heavenly Father. When I lean into God, just to be near Him, there is such peace. I seek to follow his voice and, although I sometimes find myself in uncertain circumstances, He is there to lift me up and comfort me. He has a reckless love that will bring Him to my side; he leaves the 99. Not with judgement for what I’ve done, but with a desire to just draw near and be there when I need Him. I can even imagine my Heavenly Father say, “This is my daughter. Isn’t she beautiful?!”

Although this life has been painful to not know my father’s love as we would have liked, my Heavenly Father has always been with me. Since the moment He first spoke into my life at 10, I have known the unfailing love of my Abba Father. Gentle, guiding, and fair, He is the hand that has lead me onward in this journey. I pray any who read this find this our for themselves.

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.” 2 Corinthians 1:3

Red Herring

(Trigger Warning: threat of bodily harm)

June 24th, 2022 the United States Supreme Court overturned a nearly 50-year-old case that ruled for a woman’s right to terminate a pregnancy. Given the fact that the plaintiff in that case never had an abortion, and given the fact that states still regulated the practice within their sovereignty, this case has done little to impact the issue other than being a banner under which the pro-choice group could gather. However, emotions are high after this outcome. In the current climate, there is a likelihood that what I have to say would not be received in the spirit in which it is meant, but I will start with my own story of life versus choice in hopes of an understanding.

When I was 16, my mother moved out of our house to live with her boyfriend in another city. Feeling unwanted, I turned to my longtime boyfriend for comfort and connection. A month before my 17th birthday, I began to get clues that conception had occurred, and a pregnancy test confirmed my suspicions. It was like a switch was flipped in my heart and mind; my life was no longer about me. There was now another person who would be relying on me for their very existence. My boyfriend had to process the information, but was supportive. My own mother said, “It’s about time you made me a grandma.” When we told my boyfriend’s parents, they were devastated. They had a stipulation that we go before our church and confess our sin to the body of believers.

I was still trying to get my bearings when I went to Planned Parenthood in hopes they could help me develop, well, a plan for parenthood. They said they could help me with an abortion to which I was adamant, no, I will deliver this baby. They told me to apply for Medicaid and find a doctor, and that there were therapists in the area if I wanted to talk to someone; but there was nothing more they could do for me. My life routine became going to school, going to work, taking care of my medical needs, and seeing a counselor.

We entertained the idea of adoption. A classmate had a relative who struggled with infertility, and so she asked me to consider giving my baby to them. After a couple sessions with the counselor, my boyfriend and I worked out that a life knowing our child would not be with us may be more regrettable than we could bare. My classmate was heartbroken for her family and became distant after that.

While at work, one of my coworkers heard that I was pregnant and keeping the child. He looked angry and said to me, “If I punched you repeatedly in the stomach until you miscarried, I’d be doing that baby a favor.” I felt so unsafe and scared for my unborn child. When I could no longer work at that restaurant without the smells making me, it was no great loss to walk away.

Unfortunately, this meant that now I was pretty much living on my own trying to get the best care that I could. My mother was still living in another city, my older brothers made no efforts to care for their sister, and my boyfriend’s parents were not about to have their son’s pregnant girlfriend stay with them. However, his father did approach a couple at our church who were willing to take me in with them. They were loving and attentive and made me feel secure in a world swirling with uncertainty.

There was a program at school for those who found themselves “in the family way”, where I knew other students going through their own minefield of questions. One girl left school to proceed away from the ire of others. Another girl elected to have an abortion and returned to have her life move on. I was resolved to stay in school and to have my child, so I guess I fell somewhere in the middle. I was fortunate that my boyfriend was by my side to see us through. I told him, “You will always be the baby’s father, but if you think we can make it, I’d like to bring her into a family and not just into the world.” We talked through it in therapy and moved forward with that as a stepping stone to our future. My boyfriend’s mother took me shopping for a dress, but since the bridal shop turned me away she ended up making me a dress instead. In the Spring of our junior year, on the two year anniversary of when we started dating, our church threw us a wedding and we were married. We moved into our own place and welcomed our little girl to the world a month later.

I was grateful for my small band of supporters because the opposition seemed to be more empowered. It was as if my staying strong in the midst of everything meant I wasn’t feeling the full weight of my mistakes, and many took it upon themselves to see I felt the pressure. When asked by the accompanist why I wasn’t in the show choir my senior year, my music teacher was heard saying: I will not have an example like her on my stage. When I led VBS music and inquired about being on the worship team, a church member I had long respected pulled me aside and said it is wrong for me to be so visible in my service to the church when they all were aware of my sin. I had friends that said I wasn’t who they thought I was and cut me out of their lives, this continued through adulthood when someone I thought I could open up to heard of my past.

When I had gone on to college, I met a young woman who had been a senior in high school when I was going through my pregnancy in the grade below her. It was a couple years later, but she wanted me to know that she admired me for my strength. She told me that around the time I had my daughter she discovered that she was also pregnant. With tears welling up she said she knew she would not be able to endure what she saw me go through and so she had an abortion. I comforted her and my heart ached for this grieving mother; which was truly what she was.

I’m calling this entry Red Herring because this discord over this case is a side note to the bigger issue. Our society has failed us. How can you beat the drum of pro-life and then punish the women who bear their children? You make their own babies the product of their sin; a sort of scarlet letter for years to mark them. Like the woman thrown before the feet of Jesus caught in the act of adultery, you push for the punishment. I would say that you cannot be pro-life if you are not pro-love for mothers in crisis.

It is true that the Roe v. Wade case has been used as a marketing tool for abortion; that a woman can do whatever she wants for self-preservation. Choice when the mother’s life is in danger is another Red Herring. There is some common ground in these circumstances that both sides acknowledge. However, when abortion is being used as a form of birth control that is when the two sides diverge. Women who end the life of their unborn baby because of social or financial self-preservation are like the mothers in the biblical stories who cooked their own children in times of famine.

We have the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. However, when one’s right to pursue happiness supersedes another’s right to life, there are no winners in this situation. To have my own mother recently say that she didn’t ask to be my mother, but that it was forced on her, I can honestly say that it does not feel good to be unwanted by a parent. However, life is precious and has value greater than our own desires.

“But to all who did receive him, he gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in his name, who were born, not of natural descent, or of the will of the flesh, or of the will of man, but of God.” John 1:12-13 CSB

Spring Forward

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come; The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

The daylight is lasting longer, the weather is getting warmer, and the plants are establishing their new growth. Minus the hay fever, it’s the time of year I look forward to the most. The cold darkness of winter gives way to new life. It’s little wonder why the early church, in wanting to establish a celebration of Jesus coming to Earth, decided the first day of Spring would signify Mary’s conception. In following the train of thought of new life, I also contemplated baptism; that symbolic gesture of the old being washed away and being reborn into the kingdom of God. Although it was practiced before Jesus’ sacrifice—he himself having been baptized—it has come to represent a shared burial and resurrection by many denominations. Do we really appreciate this moment, or do we treat it as a check mark on our list of religious things to do and go back to business as usual?

The Saturday morning of Easter weekend, as I laid in bed trying to soak up the last few minutes of sleep before the day began, I felt the sheets on me and thought about the strips of linen that wrapped Jesus’ body as he laid in the tomb. No life would stir them on that day as his soul was on mission in the spiritual realm. If the submersion of baptism is meant to pattern this event, it is a profound moment that we many times take for granted. Furthermore, do we actually live a life in resurrection? After Jesus’ resurrection he was transformed to the point that those who had been with him for years didn’t recognize him.

“At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.” John 20:14 NIV

Even after appearing to them, the disciples had to adjust to this new Jesus.

“Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.” John 21:4 NIV

After your baptism, have you lived in such a way that the people closest to you see you transformed? Of course we will stumble, but if you have made the commitment and then return to your old ways as if nothing has happened, your baptism is reduced to a rinse off with an audience. Instead, let those of us who have taken this step in salvation go forward into our new life, with our spirits as one with Jesus.

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 NIV

Life

A one word title. It can be used as a statement, it can be a desire, or it can be perceived as a question. Normally I process my emotions through the filter of logic. My oldest daughter calls this the Vulcan in me. I have learned that it is a coping mechanism consistent with survivors of trauma. It goes something like this.

Step 1: Identify emotion rising to the surface.

Step 2: Identify the stimuli for said emotion.

Step 3: Determine if this emotion is beneficial for my being at present; if yes—allow emotion to have its time, if no—dispel emotion and move forward.

I am recognizing that the experience of today would be better served raw and unfiltered than tempered with days of analysis. You see, as I was at work today, sewing at a men’s clothing store, all my coworkers came running into my tailor shop seeking cover. “Call 9-1-1,” they shouted. “There’s a shooter outside!” I do just that and relay the details I was given to the dispatch operator. Our tuxedo delivery truck driver witnessed two police officers get a suspect to the ground. Suddenly, the man broke free brandishing a gun. He dropped one officer, injured the other, and took off in their police SUV. Within moments a fleet of emergency vehicles were on the scene. I watched as EMTs worked their life-saving techniques, a responding officer put his hands on his head in disbelief of what was happening, and the two wounded officers were sped away in ambulances.

As I got in my car to go home, less than 20 yards from my parked car, I watched as they packed up the remains of the equipment that had been cut off the officers. I cried as the thoughts that had been sneaking into my brain settled in. I remembered when my brother was on the local force. If he was an hour past shift his wife would text me to see if I’d heard from him. I would say no and we’d both sit in anxiousness until we knew he was okay. Today the loved ones of three officers (another shot in a further altercation) would not get the rush of relief to hear all is well. Instead, life has shifted and another realization comes. That realization is affirmed that every day of this life is precious and not to be taken for granted.

We also approach two weeks of people in Ukraine being confronted with this realization. So much pain and loss is hard to face. Some would use these moments to question how a benevolent God would allow such things to happen. For me, it is a reminder that this life is not what He wanted for us. We were not made for doing harm to our neighbor. That came with mankind’s rebellion and our awakening to evil.

“And the LORD God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.'” Genesis 2:16-17 NIV

This morning, before leaving for work, my daughter was listening to one of her favorite YouTube shows called Cinema Therapy. They were dissecting the movie by looking at the dichotomy of good and evil. The therapist on the show, Jonathan Decker, referenced a book he has been reading called “Made for Goodness: and why this makes all the difference” by Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu. His take away was, “The default setting for people is goodness and kindness and decency.” Like the meme of two toddlers of different races walking with their arms around each other that says racism is a learned behavior, mankind comes forth in innocence. It isn’t until the pernicious taint of darkness and evil pollutes their spirit that this is lost.

Yet, it isn’t the fall of man that I mean to focus on after today’s events. Adam and Eve were told they were “free to eat from any tree in the garden” minus one, but there was a second tree mentioned in scripture. What was the name of that tree? The tree of life. (Gen 2:9) God fully meant for us to have lives of goodness, kindness, and decency that would never end and never know pain. That being denied us, He devised another way.

“I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:9-10

Jesus is the gate, the way back into God’s garden. The thief (the devil) seeks to destroy us and keep us separated from God. Jesus, being lifted up on the cross, became the new tree of life. You can freely partake in this tree with Jesus as your savior and find eternal life. Remembering that life is precious, and this mortal life is fleeting, and we should not take it for granted.

God be with the officers, their families, and the people of Ukraine. Amen.

Heartstrings

February comes and we see hearts in every store display. Having just celebrated Valentines Day it would be easy, cliché even, to use this month’s blog to talk about love. Doubly so as this month is the anniversary of my book release for “Fortress of the Heart.” If you are looking for an interesting take on love then you should check it out. As for this month’s entry, we are going to take a slight detour, because I’d hate to be too predictable.

As a vocal music major in my youth, I would spend hours in voice training, ear training, and theory. I thought music would be a huge part of my life, but priorities shift and that ambition had to be set aside for a while. However, recently I have been directing my energy back into music as I have been developing some new pieces. The studies of long ago are a foundation for how songs are structured and has my mind turning on the music of life. Just bear with me on this analogy.

Everyone’s heart plays its own song. The tempo begins with the first beats of percussion in the womb. An individual’s personality determines what genre(s) they lean towards. One person may be rock and roll, another country, still another classical, and/or everything in between. As people change, it could become an interesting medley over time. There can be experiences that alter the tempo. Calm and relaxing moments that slow the pace to largo, or excitable moments that increase it to allegro. Some songs are long, with many movements, others short and sweet leaving us wishing it could’ve lasted longer. Billions of songs playing out around the world. At times these varied songs can be a great cacophony of dissonance, yet in other instances we can find harmony.

There is another song that plays underneath them all; one as old as time itself. This song began with creation and is God’s heart for mankind. The theme that began in this song can be found seamlessly in all genres. Before I get too philosophical, let me illustrate this with a story.

On our 20th wedding anniversary my husband and I were on the island of Aruba. Sounds great, right? Only this was not the plan. Due to problems with our flight we had missed our cruise ship and the airline forwarded us to the first port of call on the itinerary. I admit that I am a planner, so when the plan goes out the window it damages my calm. There I was on an island paradise stressing as I tried to work out the new plan. I met two women at the resort where we were staying who could see the tempo of my heart was agitato. They told me, in their rich accents, that I was in God’s hands and it would all work out. Just like that our heartstrings resonated with the same chord as sisters in Christ, and peace was restored within me.

Don Piper documents his death to life experience in the book “90 Minutes in Heaven.” I watched an interview of him where he said one of the things he remembered from his time in heaven was the music. He described it as many different songs being sung at the same time, but they were so cohesively beautiful. That is the body of Christ. The individual songs that play on the strings of our hearts come together in Him.

“Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.” Colossians 3:14-16

I don’t know about you, but there have been times when I am in an auditorium of believers, lifting our hearts in worship, and you can feel the connection to the Spirit humming in the room. All those individual voices, so many hearts, are as one in peace. When you are there you don’t want it to end. It’s those moments of connecting with the heartstrings of the Creator we are reminded that there is so much more than the individual music we make ourselves. No one should think their song is better than another’s; because whatever a person’s background or nationality, their song is beautiful to God’s ears. Like the women I met in Aruba, the common theme in God’s song for mankind binds us together. Will you join the chorus?

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27 NLT

Your Exodus; Make the Journey

I have always found it interesting that when you begin studying one thing all these other stimuli come to support that search. I watched the archaeological documentary “Patterns of Evidence: The Exodus”. Then I saw a video devotion “Wild Places”, the session called “Goshen”. This was the land the Israelites inhabited while in Egypt. I knew they resided in Goshen, but I learned that the name means “draw near”. A few days later, I was listening to TobyMac’s “Promised Land” when it all swirled together in a fascinating way. Our spiritual journeys are like the Exodus story.

This next part is a paraphrasing of the book of Exodus. Egypt had come to forget the contributions of Joseph and look down on the foreigners in their land; making them their servants and slaves. The Israelites remembered they were a chosen people and longed for their promises to be fulfilled. However, the vast desert was before them and a powerful ruler held sway over their lives. The oversimplified steps: there’s a burning bush moment (met with some resistance), preparing for departure (also met with resistance), and life on the road (resistance in cycles). As difficult as the Israelites’ time in Egypt had become, it was the familiar; the tolerable when compared to the daunting journey through the wilderness. When hardships came during their journey, they longed for the relative comfort of their oppression in Egypt. A slave in a land of plenty seemed preferable to desert survival as a free people. Yet, forty years of nomad life and following God led them to their promised land.

In my own journey, coming into the faith (learning what that even meant), growing in maturity and strengthening my character, raising children while homeschooling and the guidance that provided, was all a season of drawing near. It was my time in Goshen. The Holy Spirit urging me to write the book and giving me a vision of public speaking, was my burning bush moment. I responded similarly to Moses with “This will be such a disruption to my life. Surely there is someone better than me.” However, the Lord calls who He calls whether they feel suited to the task or not. Preparing for the exodus from my norm was writing the book. Then into the wilderness I traveled as I sought a publisher and trusted God would guide the process. Every day He inspires my direction. I trust in His promise that the path is before me and all I must do is take the next step. If I walk in this season of “the wilderness” for the next forty years, I will count it as a blessing. “Where’s my Promised Land,” as TobyMac’s song asks? A heavenly new earth, with a new Jerusalem, waits beyond the veil.

In our journeys we begin in Goshen; our time to draw near. Some come to the faith and immediately look for the reward. What is my sign on bonus with membership? As if forgiveness from sin is not enough, they want the promised land upon arrival. On the other hand, still more understand that cultivating must be done to grow. We do the church thing, enjoying the “drawing near” feeling, and then return to our place in the world. Too many like to be coddled in their faith; to continue to be poured into without reaching the point of entering the next phase.

“Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people. I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in Christ. I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready.” 1 Corinthians 3: 1-2 (NLT)

If you spend your whole journey of faith in the land of Goshen, how do you expect to get to the promised land? Maybe you feel stuck between your everyday and a longing for a deeper journey with God. Perhaps you have a “burning bush” moment where you feel the Spirit calling you to action. You might respond willingly, or begrudgingly, or maybe you think that’s one messed up bush. “La, la, la. I don’t hear anything.” You’ll walk that line between the fertile land and the desert crossing only to talk yourself out of action. Our complacency in faith can have this effect as we live without claiming our freedom from this plentiful world of darkness. You have to break away from your norm, your expected, your comfort zone, and follow God into the wilderness. Scary? Yes! Filled with uncertainly? Sure. However, think on this, when Jesus said in Matthew 10:38 “If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine,” (NLT) He wasn’t saying your cross would be on a furniture dolly with wheels; such an undertaking comes with some struggling. It requires you to make an exodus from your place in the old world you were called from in order to find yourself in the land you are promised. That means time in the desert lands relying on God to supply all your needs. He is ever present as you sojourn in the wilderness.

Have you heard the call stir your spirit? Do you stand at the desert’s edge, straining to glimpse the promised land, only to turn back to the oppressive life because it’s what you know, it’s where everyone else is, it’s “comfortable?” Step out! Begin your personal exodus from the world’s hold on you and walk in faith. Your promised land is waiting.

The Messiah Israel Deserved, but Not the One it Needed

When your husband is a Batman fan, this is the kind of title that pops into your mind. (Apropos, since many of my friends and family relate me to Wonder Woman.) Of course, he has his favorite Batman, as played by a certain actor and how he portrays the character. It made me think of times a new movie would be coming out and the trailers would build up the hype. The anticipation of what you expect from this flick would lead you to speculate what it would be like. When the day finally arrives that you take the time to view it, there would be two reactions.

  1. With no pretense, it was everything you hoped it would be and you embrace the film.
  2. It wasn’t what you thought it would be and you reject it as not being the fulfillment of the promise set by the trailers.

These are also the reactions we see from the people of Israel when Jesus came. In the approximately 500 years of silence after the last herald of God, many religious scholars took to reading into the messianic prophecies. When the Roman Empire took control of the Holy Land, these interpretations became more pressing. They began to believe the Messiah would be a mighty Earthly king who would break Rome’s hold over Israel and restore them to their glory years of kings David and Solomon. Many believed it would be an unbroken empire that would never again fall to war and political division. For them, hearing that the foretold Messiah was born in the manger of a stable (to a carpenter family from Nazareth no less) and witnessed by shepherds, sounded preposterous. That would be the biggest teaser trailer let down the scholars could imagine. The expectation of what they believed they needed the Messiah to be was not met, and so they rejected Him. However, in God’s plan for the messiah, as the unblemished Lamb of God, being born in a stable and watched over by shepherds was the proper way for Jesus Christ to enter the world. He was the Messiah Israel (and the world) deserved in that his birth, life, crucifixion, and resurrection fulfilled every prophecy that foretold God’s plan of deliverance. Not the earthly release from bondage, that they thought they needed, but an eternal one from sin that cannot be revoked.

There may be some today that come to God with a predetermined sense of what this relationship holds; maybe even a deliverance from the trials of life. When they experience having prayers that go unanswered or don’t find the answers there were expecting, they become disillusioned. Like those who found the movie did not live up to what they thought it should be from previews, they reject their salvation and walk away with hearts closed.

Those who fully embrace God, and the Messiah Jesus Christ, are blessed with a peace “which exceeds anything we can understand.” (Philippians 4:7 NLT) For them there is no let down because the experience is unspoiled by personal expectations. It’s the premise of you cannot pour into a cup that is already full of itself. This is illustrated in Matthew 13, verses 14-17. “This fulfills the prophecy of Isaiah that says, ‘When you hear what I say, you will not understand. For the hearts of these people are hardened, and their ears cannot hear, and they have closed their eyes— so their eyes cannot see, and their ears cannot hear, and their hearts cannot understand, and they cannot turn to me and let me heal them.’ But blessed are your eyes, because they see; and your ears, because they hear. I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but they didn’t see it. And they longed to hear what you hear, but they didn’t hear it.”

Empty yourself, dear brothers and sisters, of your own understanding and expectations. Only then can you be ready to be filled with the Holy Spirit; that He might open your eyes. Then you can find the peace of Christmas (the coming of the Messiah) that you deserve and need.

More or Less Thankful

November, the month to focus on how thankful we are for all that we have in our lives. I have seen, and on occasion used, 30 day lists to prompt our minds to think on our blessings. In a land of plenty we seek reminders to help give us focus. A person, a place, a memory—and all the wonderful things that bring us joy.

There is a sentiment that if I should count my blessings then obviously the more blessings I have then the more thankful I can be. How much greater my happiness if I was blessed with more. A larger home, more money in the bank, a new car, even that special someone; more blessings to fill a life. There’s not a person that doesn’t wish their life was better.

After being in a car accident this morning, my world was spun around; literally and figuratively. What if one was to go through a time such as Job? A man “blameless, upright, fearing God and turning away from evil,” (Job 1:1 NASB2020) who loses everything. Could you imagine? The blessing of your home wiped away by natural disaster. The blessing of financial security lost to bad investment. The blessing of your family members lost in a sudden accident. The blessing of your health marred by illness or cancer. Confronted with all that could you hold to Psalms 100 verse 4? “Enter His gates with Thanksgiving, and His courtyards with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name.” (NASB2020) Many would say a resounding, “NO”. One would think that our level of thankfulness is in direct correlation to whether we have more or less.

Ten year ago, I knew many friends, family, and acquaintances who had lost so much. The Joplin tornado affected the lives of the community in devastating ways, and with the holidays coming, they needed people around them, like Job’s friends, to surround them. Although Job had lost everything, and felt such grief, his response was telling. “He said, ‘I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. Praise the name of the LORD!” (Job 1:21 NLT) It is easier by far to be thankful in times of plenty, but can you hold a thankful heart when you are in the fires of hardship? Our heart are not filled by our haves or have nots, but by a spirit full of joy and peace. That’s the path that leads to thankfulness.

You can find that joy and peace knowing that the one thing that can never be taken from you is salvation in Jesus Christ. My prayer is that you not feel the sorrow of having everything you hold dear stripped from you, but if salvation would be all you have left, let it be enough to have a thankful heart.

“But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57 NLT