The Holy Struggle

Last night was Trunk or Treat at our church. Although my own children are now adults, I can’t help but think of them when I see the children and their smiling faces. I can still remember the moment in the year 2000, seeing my sweet littles in their costumes, where I thought to myself How can we enjoy Halloween and give it to God? While trying to hold to the idea that as believers we are in the world but not of the world, I wanted my girls to be able to have some fun with this holiday that has become largely secular.

“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all things for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31 NASB2020

I knew that the day was also called All Hallows Eve; a day of preparation for All Saints Day in some denominations. However, being non-denominational ourselves, I decided to dive deeper. As the English-centric person that I am, I decided to break down the etymology of the two roots. “Hallo”, being of course derived from hallowed, or holy, but what of “ween”? Turning to my trusty Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, I found the Old English was akin to hope, or imagine. Exploring further, the Old English was also rooted in the sense of to struggle. After my findings I thought on it, to hope for, to imagine, to struggle with holiness. My meditations led me to the Garden of Eden and the fall of mankind, where our struggle to be holy began.

Going to Genesis Chapter 3 we find where this all unfolds. Eve was convinced that the forbidden fruit was good, when in fact it was a deception. (Trick or Treat) Adam and Eve covered themselves and attempted to hide from God. (costumes) Their eyes had been opened to good and evil; the dichotomy we see in this holiday. Cast out of the Garden of Eden where we work to cultivate for our survival. (the harvest season) In the fallen world we have pain and death, pestilence and decay, fear and anxiety, struggle and hope for holiness. It all seemed rather appropriate for our family’s adoption of Halloween to be a time we look to God. My girls grew up with this mentality of the holiday; knowing that while we have understanding of what is good and evil, it is on us to choose good.

Over the years, it was not always easy for them to share this with their friends; being mostly other homeschooled children. I remember one instance in particular when my oldest was in basketball practice. She asked her friend what she was going to be for Halloween. The girl replied with words to the affect that they don’t celebrate Halloween because it’s the devil’s holiday. My daughter was stunned, “Mom, why would they give the devil a holiday?” I told her that not everyone sees it like we do, but to remember “This is the day which the LORD has made; Let’s rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalms 118:24 NASB2020) We even had one Halloween in our neighborhood where a pastor of a local church drove around with a megaphone telling trick or treaters they were going to hell.

There are things which are concrete in the word of God that should bind us as one body of believers. However there are others, that have become the dogmas of the various factions, that believers choose for themselves what they will follow and these keep us apart. (i.e. cut hair/don’t cut hair, drink/don’t drink, women in dresses/pants, take part in Halloween/view it as the devil’s day) “The one who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and the one who eats, does so with regard to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and the one who does not eat, it is for the Lord that he does not eat, and he gives thanks to God.” (Romans 14:6 NASB2020) Even saying we are non-denominational makes us a division of the church. This splintering of mindsets within the church makes me think of Paul’s first letter to the church of Corinth.

“Now I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment. For I have been informed concerning you, my brothers and sisters, by Chloe’s people, that there are quarrels among you. Now I mean this, that each one of you is saying, ‘I am with Paul’ or ‘I am with Apollos,’ or ‘I am with Cephas,’ or ‘I am with Christ.’ Has Christ been divided? Paul was not crucified for you, was he? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?” 1 Corinthians 1:10-13 NASB2020

Obviously, if this condition began in the first churches of Christianity, it is not likely to be resolved 2000 years later. In fact, we probably have more divisions now than the church founders ever thought possible. Jesus said himself, when the religious leaders speculated He drove out demons because He was from Satan, “If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.” (Mark 3:25 NASB2020) We must certainly hold to the teachings of Christ, and most assuredly what He says in Matthew 22:37-39. “And He said to him, ‘”YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOU HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.” This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, “YOU SHALL LOVE YOU NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.”‘ However, when we tear down our brothers and sisters over the trivialities of dogma, do we look more like Christ or the Pharisees? Like picking apart the disciples holiness for plucking heads of grain on the Sabbath or not ceremonially washing their hands, or calling Jesus a drunkard for having wine, we are guilty of letting our “holier than thous” tear down our fellow believers. Instead of making the holy struggle harder, let’s lift one another up in love.

“Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness on empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do no merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:1-4

The Mountaintop and the Kitchen Sink

Catchy title, huh. It came to me earlier in the summer, and I wasn’t 100% sure what it would be. Some friends of mine and my husband invited us to go on a hiking trip to the Ozark Mountains in Arkansas. I thought it would be a great opportunity to see what inspiration might come for this blog, and to nab some picturesque images. At the pinnacle of the hike we took time to just be in that place. There, on the craggy bluffs, many people were out to take in the beautiful vistas. A group of young women had been making a day of it, hammocks, favorite snacks, and just sharing with each other. We discovered they were from the alma mater of one of our own group members; and, since they had been talking about questions in their relationships, I invited them to look up my book. When I told them it was faith-based, they asked how I came to be a Christian. I gave them my testimony and they thanked me for sharing. I’m not sure if God orchestrated this moment for the benefit of the young women or for me, but I know His hand was all over this meeting on a cliff.

Thinking about this mountaintop encounter reminded me of how in scripture people would go away to the mountains to be nearer to God. Moses went to Mount Sinai to be in the presence of God. (Exodus 24:15) Jesus would go to the mountains to pray. (Mark 6:46) It’s so easy, when surrounded by such splendor, to feel that He is near. If fills ones soul to have those mountaintop moments. However, we have to come down from there to live our lives in the day to day. Most of our lives are made up of less fulfilling moments. Moments like being at the kitchen sink where we don’t feel as close to God, and tears can sometimes mix with dishwater.

The same God on the mountain is God at the kitchen sink. So what’s different? The difference is what fills our senses and shapes our mind. On the mountaintop, where everything else falls away, it is so clear that He surrounds us and moves in our lives. Yet, in our daily lives, we are consumed with chores, to-do lists, and commutes. When every thing else is in our face and ringing in our ears we wonder, “Why does God feel so far from me?”

When Elijah ran to the mountains to save himself from Jezebel, he had a God encounter. “So He [God] said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain before the LORD.’ And behold, the LORD was passing by! And a great and powerful wind was tearing out the mountains and breaking the rocks in pieces before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake, a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire, a sound of a gentle blowing. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. and behold, a voice came to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” NASB2020

When the voice of the LORD is found in the gentle moments, the louder things that clamor for our attention have a tendency to distract us from hearing Him. The world can be a very loud, and flashy place. One thing after another seems to bombard us to keep our minds on anything but what we should. What if we found a way to keep a mountaintop-like place near us on a regular basis; a moment parked in your car, a quiet room of your home, or possibly just a corner of your mind. Some place you can go where the senses can be pushed back and we can just rest in the assurance of Him. I encourage you to go to your mountaintop encounter, even if it is at the kitchen sink.

“Come close to God and He will come close to you.” James 4:8

Get Your “Me” Out of the Way

“Make me know your ways, Lord; Teach me your paths.” Psalms 25:4 NASB2020

“Teach me to do Your will, For you are my God; Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” Psalms 143:10 NASB2020

These are wonderful verses that one could say as a prayer and mean it earnestly. However, we too often allow our “me” to affect our progress in learning God’s will. Many have heard that still, small voice urge them in one direction only to have the person dismiss it and go their own way. Either we allow fear to stop us or we think we know what’s best. Naturally, we tend to be fixers and approach a situation certain of what needs to happen. Our arrogance can often do more to hinder the process than to help.

When you feel the urging of the Holy Spirit, but do not obey, you are denying God’s hand from moving. Since we are to act as His hands and feet, we are throwing a wrench into His plan when we deny Him. Sure, God can and does call somebody else, but you have been called for a purpose, and possibly for a certain timing.

June of 2020 my sister-in-law received a dreaded diagnosis. Her breast cancer had metastasized to brain cancer, and they were to implant a shunt to drain off the pressure in her head. The morning of the procedure she was given 3 months to live. Sunday following the surgery, my husband got a call from his mother that it didn’t look like we would have even 3 more days. The next day, I was at work getting things in order for me to be gone when I heard the Spirit speak to me. “I’m sending you to hold my daughter’s hand as she enters the kingdom.” I was stunned by this.

“Surely not Lord,” I replied internally, “Surely You mean for me to go down there, pray over her, and You’ll bring Your divine healing so You’ll be praised.” So I set about studying the book of Acts; how the apostles did healing in Jesus’ name, and preparing my spirit for God to work His miracle. Even the next day, as we made the eight hour drive to them, I was fasting for the outcome to be favorable.

When we arrived and came to her bedside, the reality of the situation hit me like the weight of the world. Although her eyes were open, her responses were not there and her body had already taken on the appearance of wax. It was clear that what God wanted for her was better than the pain and fighting for life that she had endured over the last few years. I resigned myself to His will and not my own. As we watched her oxygen levels drop lower and lower, we prayed over her, read her favorite Bible verses and sang hymns. We had been there about four hours when I heard the Spirit speak to me, “Go to her.” I went to her side, took her hand, and came close to her ear.

“Joann, it’s Dellaca,” pushing past the lump forming in my throat I said, “It’s time.” Composing myself once more I continued, “I want you to start taking deep breathes. With every breath you breathe in, I want you to breathe in the light and peace of Heaven. With every breath you breathe out, breathe out death and this world until the light is all that fills you and you’re in His arms.” Over the next half hour her breaths got deeper and deeper, and further and further apart, until her body gave up its spirit.

Although that was one of the most emotional things I’ve ever had to do, I was so blessed by the experience. I believed I knew how God would be better served; wanting God’s miracle to be divine healing of my sister-in-law. However, His miracle was to move me into a position to pour out His love for her to have a smooth transition into Heaven. Once I got my “me” out of the way then God was really able to move. Fourteen months later, I am still deeply impacted by this as I write. When I think about the timing that unfolded that day, to imagine had I not surrendered to His will and guided my sister to peace, it breaks my heart for all the times we fail to listen.

Even Jesus, being half man, had His “me” creep in before His great calling was fulfilled. “And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.'” Matthew 26:39 (NASB2020) You see Him quickly correct Himself, and that is the habit we should strive for as well. God’s most prevalent resource, for working in the world, is people. When you say, “Here I am, Lord, send me,” you have to take your “me” out of the equation. Seeking to follow God’s will means it is no longer about you. However, you will be blessed by the experiences He has before you.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 NASB2020

Do Not Seek To Be Like Jesus

“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, as He already existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself by taking the form of a bond-servant and being born in the likeness of men.” Philippians 2:5-7 NASB2020

Goals are important for helping us to move forward in our lives. Moreover, setting attainable goals is key to having building blocks of successes. Imagine someone saying, “I am going to train hard everyday to develop my arm strength so that one day I can launch myself off a building, and fly under my own power like a bird.” While we can admire the dedication, we would likely consider this person to be ridiculous. Being unrealistic with your goals is a foolish habit that creates an environment to fail. Unfortunately, this is a trap into which we too often fall.

For years I’ve had my WWJD keychain with me as I go throughout my day. As I considered the worn, metal reminder recently, I was struck by the idea of, do we consider equality with Jesus as something to be grasped? Jesus, who had “already existed in the form of God,” who is Elohim, a part of The Trinity and Godhead, “emptied Himself” as He was poured into a new vessel “in the likeness of men.” Although He was still connected to God, He “did not consider equality with God” as something to achieve. Why then would we, who are lesser than Jesus, seek to hold ourselves to His standard? What would Jesus do? He would leave Heaven, live a sinless life, and offer up His body as the lamb whose blood atones for the sins of all mankind. Jesus would go to the grave to conquer death and be resurrected to reign at God’s side. While there were certainly lessons that He taught us, Jesus’ standard is not one to which we humans can hold.

A human can never fly on their own, like a bird, because they are not of the same make up. This concept is also why we cannot seek to be like Jesus. The moon will never light up the darkness like the sun because they are not made of the same material. The dust, on the surface of the moon, has the potential to shine, but it needs the sun for that property to be realized. Were the moon able to be proud of the light it showers on the Earth, it would be unearned as, without the true source of light, the moon is only capable of drifting in the darkness of space. We are like the moon in that we can shine with the light of The Son. Jesus is the source and made of different material than we moons. While we are capable of shining brightly, we also go through phases where the world gets between us and Jesus, and we might not reflect Him as we could. Yet, He is always there, ready for us to come out of the shadows, turn our face to Him, and shine to the fullness of our potential.

So if we realize that setting our own standards on those of Jesus has us destined to fail, where do we begin? If we are to set attainable goals then let us ask better questions. What would Jesus have me do? Or, to stick with the premise of the keychain, what would Peter do? What would John do? What would Paul do?

Peter, who was so full of faith in Jesus, that he would step out of a boat, in the middle of a storm, to walk to Him on the water. Peter would proclaim at the last supper to never leave Jesus’ side, but then deny even knowing Him when He was on trial a few hours later. He would then overcome this shame to be a prominent organizer for the Church of Christ. At the end of his life, Peter would be so opposed to being on equal standing with Jesus that he would request being crucified upside down to forego the honor. Goals: stepping out in faith, overcome failures, be a leader

John came to be Jesus’ disciple as a young man, and was full of zeal to see the Messiah’s wrath unfold on the undeserving. His relationship with Jesus would temper him towards love for all mankind. John would stay near to Jesus through the grueling events of the trial and crucifixion. He would accept Jesus’ mother as if she were his own and take her into his own home. He would encourage others through numerous writings, and walk closely in The Spirit to his old age. Goals: self-improvement, be there for people in hard times, encourage your fellow believers

Saul would embrace that he was a new creation as Paul after his conversion. He would walk away from his prominent status to be a missionary for Jesus Christ. While he occasionally got into disputes with other apostles, he did much to bring the gentile nations to the knowledge of the Messiah being the way of salvation to all mankind. Goals: don’t let your past define you, try to get along with others, do kingdom work

Flawed individuals living as best they can to walk the path of righteousness and seek God’s will for their lives. This is a realistic goal for which we can seek to reach. Like little moons in the darkness, “Your light must shine before people in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16 NASB2020

What goals do you set for yourself? Are they attainable or so lofty as to not be reached? Do your goals align with God’s? May The Spirit open your insight and you shine with the fullness of light.

What Me Will I Be

I was born in Hanford, California to my 2nd generation American (Portuguese) father and my true blue Missourian mother. We may have become a broken family, but I still remember my loving Grandma Ferraiz and how safe my grandpa made me feel. While I’ve not had my father’s side of the family in my life as much as I would’ve liked, they are dear to my heart.

My mother, two older brothers, and I lived in Florida for a couple of years before settling down in familiar Southwest Missouri. My mother’s family had been based here for many generations and the country life was soothing. I participated in pre-teen/teen pageants and found my joy in choir and church. I eventually met my high school sweetheart, got married, and had two daughters. After graduating college, I homeschooled my girls, taught others, occasionally worked and performed, and serve my city.

Why do this?

  • While my book “Fortress of the Heart” is it’s own complete work, I get other insights and inspirations that I would like to share with my audience.
  • My hope is to build a library of encouragements to be of help to others.

My writing will always be an important part of what I do, but I know motivational speaking is also an avenue that is a calling. I do not doubt the Lord has many things in store for my future. That being said, keep checking back, or connect via my website for Facebook page.